Monday, 5 July 2010

Too Personal



I have been pondering a bit lately, like I do. And find myself wondering about blogging, and how to blog.  I guess I am not made of that 'magical'  blogging-stuff.
You know those great blogs, where they have this ability to be 'themselves' and evoke inspiration by being just that. I just end up deleting blog entries, feeling that particular blog entry was a bit too personal, or a bit too negative. Perhaps it is just me?


Maybe it is because my blog is not a journal.  My blog is just a little peek at 'the good stuff' in my life. I don't want to bother any one with my problems. But then I fear my blog is too impersonal, and I am somehow 'hiding' who I am. 


I recently read a blog where certain bloggers are 'accused' of waffling on about all the good things in their lives. And their blogging is purely designed to make others jealous. 


And this is where I get confused. 
One is not allowed to be too personal or too negative, and heaven forbid, one is not allowed to be positive about their lives either. Argh.


Why should a person NOT want to show all the good bits?  And be proud of all the things they have worked so hard for? 


But in these last few weeks, I have been lead to believe, that blogging in that way, is wrong. Some how not real. Subsequently making me 'unreal'.
But would you feel comfortable reading about my arguments with my husband? Are you interested in the problems I have had with my ex? Do you really want to know how sometimes my children drive me crazy, and I wish I could just stick them behind the wall paper?


I honestly think you already know that my life is not perfect. Should I be brutally honest about my life?  Should I use lots of swear words to look cool? Is my blog crap because I refuse to write about my problems?


Of course none of these things really matter. I blog about things that matter to me. You blog about things that matter to you. It is our personal space and we can fill it up in whatever way we like. But I don't want to create this image that I am living this perfect little life with my perfect children and everything gets done magically. *laughs* 
Actually a better image would be me running around like a mad woman, sometimes pulling my hair out, working through yet another basket full of laundry, feeling I got nothing done again. 


I am just one of those people who reads blogs to be lifted. To be inspired, and feel better.  And I am glad you are out there sharing bits of your life. In whatever way you choose to do it. 
And for that I am grateful. 


Thank you! 

45 comments:

  1. most of the time my blog is filled with postive things, my crafts, the recipes I tinker with, memes, and occasionally I let the leash slip on my darker self, not very often but sometimes I will use my blog to vent, its there, my life isn;t perfect but I feel my blog is my safe place. well not jsut my blog as I have a writting blog that is probably my darker side, because the little stories, drabbles etc that I write are more personal more exercizing of my internal demons than anything else. I read blogs that inspire me and that I feel a connection with the blogger.

    Sometimes it is nice to read that somone is having a bad day and you can leave a comment that might hopefully cheer them up and know that someone out there has bad days too so your own bad days arent that bad. My dad reads my blog so I dare not swear on it anyway, nor write too much about the bad days and the depression battle, I'll leave the swearing for the story writing!

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  2. OK. That's a tough one...

    I guess in the end you just have to go with what feels right for you. Personally, I don't like blogging too much about my personal life (I'm a very private, hideaway kinda person...) although lately I feel like I should show a little more of me... It's hard to find that balance. Especially if you're blog is meant to be somewhat of a journal (as opposed to a blog about mathematics, politics, or nuclear science...)

    But then again, a post like this one, really shows you. It's very honest. Very real.
    (Nice to meet you...YOU.)

    And should we really blog more about negative things that happen to us? I would say if they really matter (in the BIG picture), we probably should. Otherwise I always see my blog as a way to help me focus on the GOOD stuff. But I guess that's just what works for me.

    Just please don't pull out too much of your hair and try to avoid sticking your kids behind the wallpaper...

    & thank you for giving us me the opportunity to think about this!

    *hearts*
    katrien

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  3. I like your blog as it is. Because all those things you want to share. It's you. As well as the things you don't want to share. So antoher person shares other things. I write mostly positive things because I feel my life is rather positive. Of course I have bad days. I write about them in my blog if I need a lift up or want to share or just want to get it out of my system by writing it down. So really, I wouldn't care for what the others think or say. It's the same in real life. You choose what you show/tell to others about you life deep within.

    Hang in there and keep blogging. And stop callign yourself a bad blogger (that bothers me for a bit). because there is no good or bad. It's not something you are paid for or have to do for a living. It's fun. So take away the pressure and write if you like and what you like.

    Love you!

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  4. Just write whatever YOU want too - it is YOUR blog and no one is forced to read it. I write about mostly the good things because when I'm really down I'd just fill the whole post with swearing and then regret it the next day when I'm 'over it' :) best to write that stuff between the lines I find :)
    So what if people get annoyed at your happiness? those same moaners are not going to genuinely give a crap during your tough times!
    there's alot of fabulous things about living in this country, we shouldn't apologise for that :)

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  5. I don't believe there should be any blog "rules". Every blog is different, which is exactly as it should be. It's YOUR blog, so you should be able to use it however you jolly well like. If other people don't like it, then they don't have to read it! I read a lot of blogs - some are purely for the pretty pictures, some are for inspiration, and some are for the connection with the person, a "virtual" friendship. I like your blog exactly how it is, so just keep on being you.
    Rachel x

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  6. Hallo Lilalotta,bedankt voor je eerlijke overwegingen op over je blog.
    Ik twijfel ook wel eens,je wilt geen hysterisch feestelijk beeld van je leven geven, maar is het intressant om te weten dat ik bv. een gillende migraine had toen ik een foto nam?

    Ik haak snel af bij blogs die een eindeloze opsomming zijn van toestanden en ellende, ik voel me een voyeur.Misschien wel intressant voor bekenden, bovendien je hoeft ze niet te lezen, je kiest de blogs waar je je goed bij voelt.
    Ik denk ook wel eens tsongejonge bij een perfect geschetst leven op een blog, maar weet ook dat je het beeld van je zelf neer kan zetten zoals je wenst
    Ik hou van blogs over de kleine dingen, die je laten glimlachen en waar je iets in herkent,en alles wat daarbij hoort.
    Ik vind het ,in tegendeel, helemaal niet erg als er twijfel, ergernissen of grote gebeurtenissen gemeld worden, het gaat om het evenwicht.
    Mensen die blogs van anderen afbranden, kunnen ook ook blogs lezen waarin ze wel vinden wat ze zoeken, er zijn er zoveel..
    (Groot nadeel van anoniem reageren op internet, iedereen kan er ongevraagd z'n ongenoegen uiten..)

    rest mij nog te zeggen dat ik je blog met veel plezier lees, en ach wie heeft er een Perfect Leven?
    Nogmaals bedankt voor je overwegingen en ik denk dat het antwoord er al in besloten ligt, vriendelijke groet Ingrid (Ingthings)

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  7. What a lovely post, so candid about a subject many bloggers probably think about! I think we are allowed to do whatever we feel like doing with our blogs. As you mentioned, it's personal space...and we get to decide what we want to share or not share. Folks can always choose what they want to delve into, comment on, etc... so who cares! Be free and do what you like :)

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  8. In my blog I just try to be myself, to be true to myself, with good and bad things.
    Your blog is your personnal space, you let the door open so people can come in.
    If they don't like it, they just don't come back.
    You cannot please everyone.
    Just write as you like and as you feel.
    To me, your blog is a treat and a lovely way to see how "foreigners" love and live in my country.

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  9. Love this post, your thoughts echo many of my own thoughts about blogging. Of course there is no 'right' or 'wrong' way to blog and it does tend to evolve based on your own personal perspectives and feelings. Personally, I adore the inspiration I derive from your blog so keep doing what you're doing!

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  10. ... Like others have already written, you have to write and share in a way that is comfortable to you.

    The people that follow your blog like what you write and share. Perhaps our way of writing doesn't give us thousands of readers and hundreds of comments, but it does give us a network, and blogfriends that shares our taste and like us how we are. Kepp up being you!

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  11. Hi Anna! I can't believe I am reading this in your post, and not in mine! I was actually lying in bed this morning thinking about this very topic. I didn't know how personal I should get, but last night as i was walking my puppy outside, I was also thinking how Blogging has helped me to focus on the positive in my life. I guess that of all of the good things I've discovered with blogging, the best have been that I DO focus on the good more, and I have made new friends. I LOVE your blog. I learn from your posts, I get inspired by you and your projects, and laugh with your laundry and children tales, and I see that being all the way across the ocean doesn't mean we women and so different. However your blog is, Anna, is YOU. Whatever you decide to put in, take out, leave out, photograph, IS you. I wouldn't change a thing. The choices you make, are you, and we all seem to agree here that we love you just the way you are! ~K

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  12. Hi~
    I think most bloggers have a hard time deciding what is too much information,too personal etc all the while interesting enough for other readers and so forth. I think a lot of (craft type, the ones I mostly read) blog writers focus on the positive happy things. I like to read happy things with a little reality thrown in once in awhile, otherwise it doesn't seem at all realistic.
    I personally, try to write happy/positive everyday things and sometimes find myself rereading and or deleting if I think the post is becoming too negative.
    Your blog is great. Write what you like, I think that's what's most important :)

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  13. Like others have said before me, it's your blog and therefore you should fill it with whatever you like.

    I've probably included far too much personal information in my blog, but I wanted my blog readers to get to know me alittle. There's always the fear that some dodgy person out there is reading it too, but now I've been blogging for a few months now, I feel a real friendship towards the lovely people who pop by and take the time to leave a comment.

    I'm sure true friendships can be discovered through blogging and if you can't share your thoughts (the good, the bad and the ugly) with your friends, who can you share them with?

    I'll still be visiting you, no matter how you decide to continue blogging.

    Wishing you a lovely week.
    Jill x

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  14. keep blogging as you wish....i will be a visitor to your life's happening whatever they are....by the way, loved your comment about sticking the children behind the wall paper...i know the feeling...we raised 8....his, mine and ours..whew!!!! hugs

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  15. a great post. thanks for sharing your thoughts on this topic. i say write what you want to talk about most. certainly don't force yourself to share the bad things if that's not what your blog space is to you.

    there are no rules that you have to share bad stuff equally with the good. i personally focus mostly on the fun or interesting stuff in my life b/c that's what I want to blog about. i am a pretty private person so i don't share my problems on my blog. that's just my choice, and you should have yours too. i like your blog the way it is!

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  16. Yes, I know what you mean, I have struggled with this also. I usually just delete things that seem to personal and whiney. I don't think people want to read it anyway.I love reading uplifting blogs and yours is one of those. Just keep doing what you are doing because I love your blog!

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  17. I think we have all questioned ourselves to where we think our blog takes us...be true to who you are...if in your personal life you don't tell your friends about everything which happens on a day to day basis...then don't blog about it.
    If you are open...then be open...
    I can't bring myself to be too personal...because my blog is for my family and friends...my girls are growing up...and one day I would like for them to read my blog...and what those years were like...
    like I said...be true to whom you are, and how you want the World to see you...
    I agree, I read blogs to be inspired on a day to day basis...they are my Novels I never get time to read...they are my artistic push.
    You have a wonderful Blog, and are a great writer...
    I better stop...I have to leave for the UK in a few hours...
    HUGS
    Char.x

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  18. Keep doing what you're doing - it's great. Blogs are all supposed to be different aren't they? Supposed to reflect individual's lives? And yours is reflective of your life. Don't worry about 'the others' "feck 'em" as they say in Ireland!! x

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  19. i completely understand. sometimes i think the same of my blog. i just try to keep it real. as real as i can without too much private info. sometimes they are over the top happy posts, sometimes, i want to jump out of the window posts. but that's life, isn't it?
    i think this was a great post.
    Claudia

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  20. Anna I feel exactly the same as you do about the blog! I don't like to share much of my personal life with the world. Thank You for posting this today and keep blogging and inspiring all of us.

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  21. Yes, they say that people like to read about other peoples misfortunes because it makes them feel better and that may well be true but I am sure that is very difficult to write and must become very personal and depressing. I like to read your blog firstly because it is visually extremely artistic and the photographs are always fresh and inspiring. I suppose it looks like you have it all but for us readers we know how difficult it is for you at times (you tell us just enough)which then makes it real etc. So I say keep on going, doing what you're doing and don't question other peoples presentations but nurture the gift you were born with. x

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  22. As a blog reader only, I love what each blogger has to offer. I suppose you could use a version of the golden rule - blog unto others as you would have them blog unto you!

    But I will weigh in on the swearing - just don't like to read it - so I usually delete the blogs that are so inclined. That's just my choice.

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  23. Anna, blog from the heart, tell what you want and don't worry about those that think their blogs are perfect....I struggle with this too. I just know that I love to show and tell mostly the good stuff, I sometimes talk about the bad things or stuff that makes me do what I do...I am like you though, I don't want to talk about my ex or anyone else...my health is my business...I share what I want and if someone doesn't like then they can turn the channel!!! Know what I mean. I like to read your blog because you have five children, you are talented beyond most!!! And you live in France!!! What could be more interesting....I love your post and I love your designs.....if you need advice or have a problem I would be willing to read and give you my take, whichever....I like you because you are you and that is the reason I blog and make friends with other bloggers. Sometimes I find very conceited and arrogant bloggers out there that think they know it all or that they are the only female that can "shop" in hugh heels, whatever, that is just a superficial person no matter how many people they have on their blog list...eventually people get tired of those kinds of bloggers and the ones that like that type of blogger are not the ones I am interested in being friends with.
    Sorry, I go off when I hear that someone feels bad for the way they blog....just do it for what makes you feel good...
    Hugs,
    Margaret B

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  24. oops, I meant to say high heels...

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  25. Living, as you do, in a foreign country and not being fluent in the language, I sometimes feel as if my blog is a substitute for chatting with my mates. I don't always know who is out there listening (if anybody) but I write as if I were talking to a friend and, as in real life, there will be people who respond to me in a positive way and those who don't and, also as in real life, I've learned that it no longer bothers me if I'm not everybody's cup of tea. So, do what feels right to you and what you feel comfortable with and you will get the sort of people reading your blog who you would probably get on with if you met them in the real world.

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  26. Well I like your blog just the way it is with your lovely artwork and a splattering of family (not meaning you splatter your family on the web but that you add a little bit here and there about them :-) ) so do what pleases you as it obviously works well :-)

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  27. This post echo's my own thoughts, my Mum recently read my blog and said she didn't recognise me, she said it all seemed very perfect.
    Which got me thinking that I was deceiving people, I will be doing a post on this soon, once I've caught up on other things. But it has made me think that this is my space, for my thoughts and I only have to please myself, nobody else has to read it if they don't like it.
    Keep doing what pleases you, I for one enjoy the read.
    Thanks for bring the subject up, x

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  28. this writing reminds me of me, remember? i have decided to keep my blog at is it, and it is good to me. writing about nature and sometimes from my jewelry tinkering.
    sometimes and so very often i felt that i needed to be more personal, share my shadow life, but why i wonder?

    do not feel bad Anna, your blog is wonderful as it is. there is spirit on your blog, i love to read your words and see your creations!

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  29. I think that what matters in the end is the spirit that your blog creates and whether this spirit is you. So it doesn't realy matter if you write about the good stuff or you choose to share some hard moments with us-whats important is that its you.

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  30. as you already know, my mantra is "be you"!! i don't think there are any blog rules (and if there are, i'm in trouble because i probably break them all the time!). i think you've got to go with what you know in your heart. i don't visit you because i think you're perfect.....i visit you because i know you have a normal life.....and through your artwork, your wonderful stories, and your beautiful photos, you make me feel normal, too! and i visit you because i love your sweetness, and your authenticity!!! keep being YOU, anna.....you're doing a fabulous job at it!! xoxox, :)))

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  31. Well, Anna. I only started to view your blog since I started mine, which was not a long ago. So I don't know much about "blogging" matters out there, but I have to say whatever you write and put on your blog, I always enjoy your space. You have lots to attract, just by BEING YOU, I think. This post particulaly made me feel actually rather comfortable as if I am getting to know you a little more. For that I would like to say a big thank you. x M

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  32. I think your blog is only yours and you can write whatever you feel like writing about. I find you incredible honest without that lie that everything is perfect in your life. Somehow that's what keep me coming back. I'm not perfect either, and I'm still real like you.

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  33. well Anna, I for one love the way you blog, and the way you post the lovely photos of your art, and your family. You are the owner of your blog, I think people can chose or not to read or not, just be true to who you are, which is why so many of us think so very highly of you. We have been friends for quite a few years now, and I have always been such an admirer of yours Anna. Make your own rules girl, and don't pay any attention to anyone else. For me, blogging, it's my art, my interests, and life as it comes, sometimes it's about the cancer that afflicts family members, not for pity seeking, but for venting, and to let others that may be going through the same thing a feeling that they are not alone. I guess kind of the good, the bad and the ugly to sum it up, no one is forced to read it. If you feel you need support on a certain subject and feel comfortable about posting it, your friends will be right there to support you Anna. Oh Dear, I'm rambling, I just want you too feel good about your beautifual blog Anna, the only thing that matters in Anna's blog is, Anna.

    you are loved. xoxo Rena

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  34. I think your blog is just delightful and insightful, fun and well done. I blog for me - if people want to read - welcome along. If not, there are plenty of other places for them to go. Whatever you're doing - you're doing it well. Keep it up!

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  35. I love reading nice and happy things ,
    I like Blogging to be a happpy experience.
    And your Blog is real Blog candy , so keep Blogging please .
    x
    trudette

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  36. This was a really beautiful and personal post and you are right, it's your blog and you should write whatever feels right to you. I don't mind reading only positive stuff on blogs, I think there is enough negativity and bad things in the world. But I think that it's nice to know you can share a problem or a bad thing with your readers when you feel the need to. I personally love your blog, so I am always happy to read it, whatever you decide to write about!

    PS. I'm happy the CD worked finally, so sorry for the hassle.

    Hugs!

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  37. I don't know how many posts I have tossed as well for the same reason. I'm like you in that I like to see the good. I do know we all deal with hard life issues, none of us our exempt-they may be different but they are there. I think the main reason I don't stop blogging all together is that it is one place I can actually see things that I have done, that don't have to be re-done on a moment to moment, day to day basis.

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  38. For me it's kind of naive to think that ones life is contained in a blog, good or bad stuff our life is so much more than what we write.
    I love your blog also because it's uplifting, and I never thought your life is just that, but let's just celebrate the good stuff, right! The bad stuff we deal with whoever we have to deal with.
    Now let me say this, I also thought about all that and this is just my personal conclusion.
    There are lots of great personal blogs out there, and sometimes I read them, and say to myself: "OK it's not just me, everyone go crazy once in a while, great, let's move on".
    Anyway, the great blogs are all heart written, personal or not, I haven't achieved that yet, that's why I read blogs like ours.

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  39. I don;t have a blog but I do read others - mainly craft and needlework. I am rather restricted in socialising with the world due to my husband's health problems, so the,internet and blogging keep me in touch with the human race. Why do I read blogs? To experience the world - to smell and hear life. I love your blog, your creativity, your family and I get to read about what you are doing - good or bad. Don't change. Your blog is a happy place for me.
    Delphine

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  40. i love your blog just the way it is and even if you write about a bad day (as we all have those)i would still read and wish you hadn't had a bad day...but i would still love your blog.

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  41. Even in het nederlands hoor.. Hetzelfde hier als bovenstaande reacties. Ik vind je blog geweldig zoals deze is. Creatief EN persoonlijk! En inderdaad sommige blogs zijn veel persoonlijker en sommige mensen schrijven ook vaker over de mindere dingen, of juist altijd over die perfecte dingen in het leven. Iedereen maakt daar zijn eigen afweging in. Jij dus ook, blijkt, gelukkig. Ik snap wel heel goed wat je bedoelt. Ik twijfel soms ook. Laat weinig foto's zien van mijn 'prive' leven, vertel hier ook weinig over, probeer zo min mogelijk negatief te zijn en soms 'voelt' dat als onpersoonlijk. Ga dan twijfelen aan mezelf. Maar is het onpersoonlijk, moet ik twijfelen? Of is dat inderdaad zoals jij zelf zo mooi zegt, zoals jij bent?

    En echt Anna.. jou blog geeft vooral een heel mooi, open kijkje in jouw creatieve wereld. Af en toe een kijkje in je gezinsleven en soms een kijkje in je hoofd, in je gedachten. Ik vind je blog absoluut niet onpersoonlijk. Je laat zien dat het leven mooi is, goed is maar ook z'n valkuilen en irritaties kent zonder dat je heel negatief bent. Je bent enorm inspirerend. Een mooi mens en ik lees je blog graag. Dank je wel daarvoor.

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  42. Honey, really, why do you care?
    I guess you received a very nasty post criticizing you.
    Why should you care?
    }}Some people like what you write, others don't. Well, let them just look somewhere else.
    Your blog is your space and you should be free to blog about whatever you want.

    BE HAPPY!
    BLOG HAPPY or BLOG SAD.
    It's yours!!!!!!

    Love,
    Vanilla

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  43. hey!

    awesome post. inspirational! keep it all up! cheers!
    Ant

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  44. Anna....just be who you are...do want you want to do........yes and be happy :-)
    Psst... I love the bit about sticking the children behind the wall paper!!! LOL!

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  45. be yourself!
    great & inspiring blog!

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Thanks ever so much for sharing your thoughts!